I enjoy Norah Jones. I also enjoy this feeling. I feel like I have accomplished something incredible...and it is only incredible because I did it! I have spent the day off in some other world. Today was the very first day since we met that we went the entire day not hearing from each other. The last week, I didn't text her unless she texted me. Today, I think she was testing me. Nothing. All day. She called me.
Holy crap. I could be way off...the paranoid, over emotional, normal slacker says I am way wrong with this. However, the new me...the one that realizes the need for change, says I just had my first taste of power. The following is from the new me.
Clearly, she thinks about me. I feel like it worries her that I am so okay now. I think it bugs her that I made my status "single" and that I have backed off of her. I also think that my reaction to things pertaining to her and him has taken a different path then it was before. Not one time in our conversation did I say anything negative about him or their relationship. I talked with her and agreed with her about stuff, but I didn't, at any point, show any kind of emotion regarding them. Does it make me super effin happy that she is already halfway out the door? HELL YES! I made mention about her profile picture and how it made me a lil mad at first, and jealous, and she changed it almost immediately.
It is the little things that give me this satisfied feeling. I feel kinda hopeful, but not really. I feel like I am impartial right now. I am so hurt that I have walls up, but I would definitely try again. There would be some work to do, but I feel like it would be worth it. Anyway, I feel like I have finally disconnected my heart from myself. Or maybe I have just let my head take control. My heart gets me hurt...every time. So yeah...I am okay. I feel good about this little jealousy monster that is scratching at her now. I understand why this is a good way to be.
This was my juvenile and dramatic post of the week.
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